By Harville Hendrix

Holt & Company, 1997

This is a remarkable guide for couples to help resolve conflict, complete with exercises.

Getting the Love You Want can be insightful in recognizing the distinction between ‘romantic’ or ‘unconscious’ marriage, in which individuals attempt to get their unresolved childhood wounds healed by their partners (an impossible expectation), versus the ‘conscious’ marriage in which each person takes responsibility for the fulfillment of their own needs within the marriage. The exercises provided are practical and well-structured. This book can be studied as a self-help guide by couples who seek direction through early conflict, or it can provide a valuable complement to couples counselling, particularly in cases of greater conflict.

~ Stephen Douglas, 2005